Recently in Community Group, we had a fantastic discussion on marriage. I figured rather than letting that content end there, it should be documented! My wife, Hannah, and I were the only married couple there so we were put on the spot as far as input goes. We hope that
It Comes Back to Context...
We started off with the question "What would keep someone from getting married?" We discussed things like spiritual maturity, career path, and financial stability. That was when it hit me.
Not all things are subjective, but some are. What if the context of two people coming together in marriage is subjective? What if there is no magical checklist that needs to be done prior to marriage? But if there is no checklist, then what should prevent two people from getting married?
“The role of protector/provider is best understood in the context of the woman you’re protecting/providing for.”
To gain some better traction, we took a look at my relationship and the events surrounding our marriage. I wasn't making bank. I wasn't in a career job. I was busy. Working full time, school full time. The situation was not ideal. But we got married anyway. Was it wrong? We didn't think so. So what made it right?
I suggested that the role of protector/provider is best understood in the context of the woman you're protecting/providing for. This seemed to shed some light on the situation.
Hannah and I had been dating since 8th grade. I knew her better than I knew many of my friends. I knew what she liked, and what she didn't. What she loved, and what she feared. What she needed, and what she had. It was in that context that we examined if we could get married, and in that context I proposed. In that context she said yes, and in that context we got married.
What Should You Do?
Below are some simple... "recommendations", if you will. My hope is that they will help guide you in your relationships, and that they will culminate in a God-honoring marriage!
- Stay in community- The best place you can be is in a community of fellow believers. At MD, we're a close knit bunch, and we have each other's backs. That's exactly the kind of support you'll want while you're dating/courting.
- Date in community- Don't become "that exclusive relationship" once you start dating! You and you're date are officially invited into community at MD. If you haven't been in community before, now's the best time to start.
- Marry in community- You can feel like you want to be "on your own" when you get married, kind of like moving out of your house for the first time. Marriage definitely takes some adjusting to, but that doesn't mean you seclude yourselves from your church family either. We're here for your growth, so don't shoot yourselves in the foot/feet!
Hopefully you've found this little article helpful. If you have any questions, feel free to post them in the comments below or reach out to us on social media by clicking on the Connection Center tab at the top of the page.